It's Been a Year :((

8 replies [Last post]
talisin's picture
Offline
Joined: 2011-02-25

Well all, it's been over a year now since my beloved Goofy, tri color rough collie, died from that tumor rupturing......it's hard to believe it's been that long it seems like it was just yesterday, where did the time go, and I still don't have another collie; my life and heart are still very empty the void is felt every day, not every minute like it used to be, but definitely every day numerous times a day; I miss everything about him including his incessant barking, I just wish I had my collie back, the daily brushing and the following me from room to room and having to be right at my foot all the time is so hard to deal with not having; I go to the kitchen to wash dishes and I still look behind me to make sure he isn't there before I turn around to walk, I look to my left and he's not there waiting for me to finish washing the dishes; I look at the bowl that Ben eats out of and I don't see my collie waiting for me to come keep him company while he eats; he's not laying at my bedside while I sleep; I don't have to ask him to get up so I can put my foot on the floor to get up; we have the kittens and he would have been in heaven with them and they would have loved him; I sit here right now bawling like a child - and yet I continue to adopt and do it all over again.......I pray that at some point in the future I will have another collie to love and vice versa....just wanted to cry in good company tonight, thanks for listening.......

Kar-jinx's picture
Offline
Joined: 2012-04-15

Pet Profiles

You have company now. I'm om my break and now very tears eyed after reading your post.  Tonight as I work, I'll be wishing you a gorgeous collie.   And later I'll say a prayer that you get one.

Rocket mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 2012-09-01

Pet Profiles

Dearest Talisin,

   Such a beautiful picture of love, I am so grateful that there are people like you and the others I have found here. There is an empty spot when we lose so much love, but I am glad to 'know' someone who values such love. I will pray too that another gentle and loving collie will be a part of your family.

talisin's picture
Offline
Joined: 2011-02-25

Thank you guys!!! I am still crying on and off tonight, must be the full moon, :) :(  It's just hard I read about how everyone's doberman follows them and stays with them and I had that for over 30 years and now no one follows me from room to room or cares what I am doing.....Ben lays and chews his bone, Pepe wanders around and then sits on the sofa waiting for me to get done and join them. But all the collies were right under foot you couldn't turn that you didn't bump into the collies, it's a huge void......glad you all understand......plus to top it all off Pretty Girl got rowdy in her crate and turned over Goofy's memorial statue that was waiting for the memorial garden to get completed and the shaking threw it onto the hardwood floor and it busted - kinda of a horrible thing when grief is already high to see his memorial statue in pieces - kinda showed how I felt I guess......

Kim
Kim's picture
Offline
Joined: 2012-02-05

Aw, Tal....

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I can understand - Lib's been gone 9 months, and Dil for 2 1/2 years, and I miss them so much too. It's like there's a void in my life. I'm still telling Lib and Dil stories. (My friends are probably getting tired of hearing them.) I'm right there with you.

The time is coming, and so is a collie for you.

mrszelly's picture
Offline
Joined: 2012-08-13

Talisin, My heart goes out to you during this time of healing.

Can I redo my childhood and be a puppy raised by you? 

You show SOOOOOO much love in your posts when you talk about your Goofy. I could only imagine what it was like in person. It is  beautiful and sad and happy all at the same time.A myraid of emotions.

I am positive that Goofy knew how treasured and loved they were!!

Praying that your heart will heal and that you will remember the good times and know that Goofy lives on in your heart and memories. I feel blessed just being able to share a part of that as you share stories and tell us about Goofy.

ok my eyes are a tad wet after reading and posting so I will go for a bit for now. Just know that I really do enjoy reading your posts. I also pray that the void you feel is healed soon.

*****Talisin***** (those are safe hugs for you)

mackerboys mom's picture
Offline
Joined: 2012-05-31

Pet Profiles

You just go right ahead, I know how you feel its been 6 months since my Mackerboy left me and not a day goes by that we don,t miss them.My heart goes out to you!You are in my thoughts an prayers.   Dodie & Hoss 

Lady Kate's picture
Offline
Joined: 2009-10-28

Pet Profiles

 

Mom.. It's me, Goofy HI!!!

Thank you so much for letting me come here.. I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful it all is... The rolling hills go on for miles and miles and they are covered with the greenest, softest most sweet smelling grass. The sounds are incredible.. did you know butterflies can TALK?? Just a few mins ago one landed on my nose .

I can see you Mom... and I miss you.. but I am so happy here.. Please be brave ( you taught me how to do that you know) I get sad when I see you sad.. and you are so much prettier when you flash that 500 watt smile..... there.. that's better.. I'm right beside you all the time.. all you have to do is reach out and skritch me behind my ears like you used to do..and brush my silky coat and I feel it.. honest I do..

Mom ... I can run.. I can run like the wind itself.. Just yesterday we had a race and I won.. I even beat those silly gazelles with the crinkly horns... left them in the dust I did... When I first got here I was a little confused.. I felt something growing out of my shoulders... wasn't' sure what they were. A great big boxer (with floppy ears) came over and told me they were wings..... beautiful white feathery wings.. Mom.. God has given me WINGS!! I'm the only one here on the Bridge with them.. I'm an angel dog now I can run AND fly and watch over all the creatures that are so happily scampering.. hopping, galloping slithering and napping here....

I love you Mom. You gave me such a wonderful life. You and Dad were so kind and loving..I ate the best food.. and got the most delicious baths.. ( I just pretended not to like them) I slept the best sleep and had the best dreams.. and guess what? They were all just like it is here!!!

Tell Ben that I like it when he shares my food dish. He's thinking about me when he does and we share a few secrets.( It wasnt' Pretty Girl who knocked over my memorial statue.. it was ME.. I was fooling around and it was an accident..)

We'll see you soon ( time flies when you're in heaven)

Love,

Goofy

talisin's picture
Offline
Joined: 2011-02-25

Awww Lady Kate how sweet, and yes Goofy would knock things over he was not the most graceful of collies, :))

Kim I remember your losses and it is odd that it's been so long cause I remember us talking about their crossing over together so close to each other, I will be here when your year arrives to support you too :)

Mackers has it been 6 months already??? good grief where does the time go??? I swear all these losses were just yesterday.......

There have been SOOOOO many losses on the forum this past year it just traumatized me to no end, I thought there for a few months it would never end, I was even getting afraid to click into the forum for fear of seeing another doberman gone or another family member gone. Thank god that has stopped but now we all face this same annual anniversary of their passing or having to leave us and it's so hard....

Mrszelly yes you can come back as a critter in my household :)) everyone says they would love to be an animal in my home.

I like to think I give them the best I can and I sincerely love them to my core to the deepest recesses of my soul they are all a part of me forever. I remember my very first cat at age 4 and how I loved her, I remember neighbors animals and how much they meant to me and animals I saw get hit by cars in front of my eyes, oh the horrors of those will never leave my memory; I remember them all and love them all; and yet I continue to add animals to my life knowing there would and will come a day soon when I would have to say goodbye and I did it anyway and would do it again in a heartbeat; I have studied breeds and tried to find another breed dog that would fill the void of my collies and nothing will, so one day when the time is right surely my beloved collie will come to me......I was just thinking of the kittens and if I have to keep one or two and they live to be 19 or so which is the longevity of my household for cats that will put me at 70 so it's hard to believe that these kittens may be the last kittens I will have the joy of experiencing and I want to be responsible and not get a puppy at close to 70 so I have to get my collie in the next few years or I run the risk of my collie outliving me and I don't want that as I don't trust anyone to take care of my animals when I am gone I hope to live to be a healthy 90 year old :)) but I have to be realistic for my animals and be aware of their future too.......hard row to hoe.......getting old......I know Ben may live another 4 or so years and that may be when I can get my collie but who knows.......

Thanks again for being here to listen while I ramble in the void of the soul......