How to handle the snarky sharks?

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jeshykai's picture
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Just got done reading that explosive thread on here.. and wanted to see what others thought about not hooking in when people get nasty.

I think if we just redirect, ignore, or reply with facts or support to those who are trying to share facts but use TACT we may get somewhere than just BULLYING or responding to bullying.

I don't want any of us getting sucked into that whirlpool.. I don't think we will.. that's why this Forum stays on track.

Not everyone knows how to educate without putting people down, or using their own more solid experiences, to make someone else feel inferior.  It's a skill not everyone has nor wants to use.  But I think you reach more people with education and a tone that is helpful, not hurtful.  You can't beat dumb out of some people.. I realize.. but when you phrase your reactions or your comments in a more positive light you aren't alienating the lurkers who are learning through reading and not posting.

Just my two cents on my day off after I've read most of the stuff on here.  Hope you all have a nice weekend!

That did get a little over the top, huh? I did learn a something about Z-factored dobes though.

cisco9510's picture
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I agree with you Jes!

jeshykai's picture
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Yep! It was good information and glad someone corrected the one that wasn't informed and was spreading misinformation.. but then everything blew up and got personal.. not good. 

rmk
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i missed it...what thread? i thought i had read them all??

Happydance's picture
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Jess, I agree.  But tact is a hard thing for some, it's just not in their nature, or probably more so, it's not their interest. There is a difference between being firm and passionate and bullying. My reaction is that I don't think they started attack "us" per say, what upset me and felt that I had to comment on was the fact that after a bit, they all started attacking each other.  Obviously, this was from their history together, and I felt it was inappropriate here.  Our forum is ALWAYS open to knowledge and opinions, none of us has ever disputed that, nor discouraged it! That's what a forum is and why they are created.  I have learned alot as I'm sure many of us have, and although I don't agree with some of the things said here, (and I know I'm not the only one) it's good to hear a different slant on things.  Such are discussions are educational and refreshing.  I think our forum's "Gentle" foundation is strong and intact.

DJ's Dad's picture
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Joined: 2010-10-04

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Wendy, you said it exactly right!

Lady Kate's picture
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We have to remember, as well, that not everyone has a 'way with words' and many times things that are written don't come out the way they were intended to sound....

When things get personal, that's when I get to feelin' kind of squirmy.. and I want to snark right back..

A forum is for opinions and that's what we ask for.

I know we all try to keep an open mind and learn what ever we can about our preciousessss...

sweetpea's picture
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Joined: 2010-10-25

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That was a crazy thread, wasn't it?  toward the end I felt like it had nothing to do with our forum anymore, it was just somebody's old history being dredged up in a new place and I had no clue what it was about or which post was directed to whom.   

blue4's picture
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Joined: 2011-02-28

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I am lost...school started and I've missed some threads.  Guess it's best I don't even try to go find it...

sweetpea's picture
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Don't worry, you didn't miss much!  Nothing worth reading anyway :)  Why such an early school start this year? 

scotty's picture
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Having just caught up with the post in question, it makes uncomfortable reading and gives off very bad vibes.   I have felt the same with a few posts on this site to be honest  and feel the best way to deal with such posts is to ignore - if you respond you encourage more of the same.   There is absolutely no need for personal attacks on a forum such as this, everyone is entitled to their views, opinions and values and it is great to share these but if people don't agree just accept that they too have their views, opinions and values and agree to disagree.   It is good to educate, yes, I have had dobermans for nearly 30 years and I am still learning and in no way would I consider myself an expert, knowledgable yes but I try to keep an open mind and am always willing to learn from others.  

I joined this forum as a Dobie owner who loves the breed and the information to be found here is amazing.  Lets just get on with being members of this wonderful but GENTLE Doberman forum.

Wolfgirl_121's picture
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Joined: 2010-11-08

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I know that I have said some VERY snarky things in the past and I want to apologize for them now. I love this forum and really don't like the direction that some people are dragging it in.

There are some op's that have infuriated me to no end... made me want to tear out my hair... But they have always been dealt with in an appropriate (if blunt) manner by some of the more experienced owners. When things get heated... thats usually when everyone else notices its time to step in and calm things down... that is why I like this forum, we know eachothers limits and we genuinly care about other members. 

If somthing comes up like it did in the other thread... I suggest just flagging it and moving on... there is no point putting yourself into a situation like that.