Freaking Out

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gingersmommy's picture
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Okay, so I'm off from work today and am having some trees trimmed at the house, which I do about every couple of years. We have a beautiful yard, but it is that way because I keep it cultivated in a natural looking way. My husband doesn't like change and he'd rather let things grow the way they are going to.  Anyway, I just left the house to run some errands and saw the tree that they "trimmed" on the side of the garage - a big red maple.  OMG; they trimmed a lot. John is going to flip out!!!  Seriously, I am having an anxiety attack.  They took off way more than I wanted, and it is pretty obvious.  I should have stayed out there for that one tree and told them which branches to cut as they went along.  It's all water over the bridge now.  I'm not going to say anything to John when he gets home and hope it takes him a while to notice. (I don't know what difference that's going to make, it's just delaying the inevitable.)  I didn't even tell him they were coming today because I thought he wouldn't even be able to tell. Oh god...

HarleyBear's picture
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LOL!  Good Luck!  I would handle it just like you and Katie... hide under the kitchen sink with a bottle of sherry and wait to see if he notices.....  Probably not the best approach!

gingersmommy's picture
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It's 11:56 AM here; believe me, I'll be hitting the hard stuff as soon as twelve o'clock comes!  I keep going outside to try and convince myself that it's not that bad.  Once the guys go, I'm going to go out and cut the back lawn - something I usually refuse to do becaue that is John's job.  I've already pulled some weeds - anything to make the yard look as good as possible so maybe he won't freak so bad.  I sent him an email at work, "how's your day?", and asked him what he wanted for dinner. This is crazy!

Lady Kate's picture
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Marianne... why in the world did they 'trim' the tree in the Spring.????. Oh dear oh dear.. I am so sorry.. I KNOW what you're going through, believe me I do.. I stood out back last fall when the gardeners cut back our 100+ year old" who knows-what-kind-of-tree-it-really-is-but-some-say-it's-from-the-willow-family." I hovered like an avenging angel and litterly POINTED to the branches that needed to come off.. and each time I yelled.. "be gentle.. she's an old lady..  Ooofff. take it slow.. wait wait wait.. not so close to the limb, it'll leave a scar.."

Okay.. I"m thinking your tree trimmers KNEW what they were doing... and some of those branches HAD to come off.. and they will double in size in a few weeks.. THAT'S the story we're telling John.. if all else fails.. grab Ginger and head South.. there's plenty of room for you under the kitchen sink and cooking sherry be damned.. we're calling in Jack to help with this one!!

P.S. and you'll notice it's the ELEVENTH!!!

gingersmommy's picture
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Kate, I should have stood out there with them - I normally do! I went over it with them before they started and pointed to the ones I wanted down, but they must have misunderstood. Shoulda woulda coulda; it's after 12; I'm having a chocolate martini now (my new drink).  I might have half a Xanax laying around, too.    :)

gingersmommy's picture
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P.S. OMG, Kate, I forgot it's the 11th!  Usually that's always been good for me.

Lady Kate's picture
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And it still is.. you found the chocolate!!

Happydance's picture
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I'm the same way about trees, I'm very protective of them.  Imagine my surprise when my landlord showed up with a crane and took 3 of the mature palms from the front yard to put in at his house.  Hmmmppfff.

Lady Kate's picture
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I'd still be in mourning Wendy.. I cry when I get  my BANGS trimmed...

jerial13's picture
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Gingersmommy,

Tell him it was for the structural integrety of the garage, with the storms that have hit out that part of the country the last couple of years it is preperation for the weather that is sure to come.

Jeri

P.S. if that doesn't work I just got a refill on my xanax and I know how to make chocolate martini's, Missouri is closer to you than Mexico, sorry Lady Kate, gotta help a girl when you can.

gingersmommy's picture
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jerial13, I have all sorts of stories concocted in my head, "the integrity of the garage" being right up there.  What's the time zone where you are - 2 hours behind NY?  Let's see, John comes home around six, it's probably ten (?) hours to your house minus the two for time change - if you don't see me by 4 AM, everything here should be okay.  :)

chris b.'s picture
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Oh, we have the opposite here, Dave wants to control all the plants and I like the wild look.  If you still need somewhere to hide we are only 2 hrs from you ( take the thruway to weedsport and head south)  and we have an empty spare room.  Good luck  :)

gingersmommy's picture
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chris b, oh yeah, I know Weedsport! 

Shhhhhh; John's home and he is in a really good mood!  I know he didn't notice (don't ask me how - I mean, it is glaringly obvious).  Honest to god, I'm not going to say anything until he brings it up.  He'll notice next time he cuts the grass.  I did the back and side this afternoon just so it might look better.  Almost killed me - it was 90 and sunny out!

jerial13's picture
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I am at work and you were not at my house this morning when I got up at 4 AM so I am assuming the home front is so far so good.

Jeri

Joined: 2012-05-10

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This is a little late but, this is how I handle bad news. I send it in e-mail or call to tell him the bad news but don't linger on it. If you tell him way before he gets home... it digests in there system and some how settles a little before they get to see the damage. They are prepared and the reaction seems less reactive and more positive.

I would have sent an e-mail: I would have said that the tree trimming guys came today, however they must have been in a hurry or they work faster then you thought because they got to trimming the big tree beside the house before you were back from errands. You were disappointed because you felt they should have done it differently and it seemed like they took to much. You realize they are the experts and know which limbs to cut to keep your tree healthy and it will grow back... but you are disappointed still.

So when he comes home and sees the mess, you won't be completely in the hot seat and he will feel you are disappointed as much as he is and go easy on you.

Good luck.

Lady Kate's picture
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Oh Oh.... no word from G's Mama... hope she's still with us.. have devised a letter to send to hubby:

Dear John,

Please be advised that the renowned gang of wicked, outlaw, tree trimmers arrived without warning this morning.

I had taken Ginger out for a walk and by the time I got back, they had invaded our back yard and done their damage and were gone.They have been spotted all over the county and there's a warrant out for their capture and arrest.

Fearing they would come back and start in on the living room rug, I scooped up our beloved Ginger and headed for Missouri.

You can find me at Jeri's house..

P.S. the vodka is under the kitchen sink.. I took the chocolate

xo

M.

jerial13's picture
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Lady Kate

You just made me laugh out loud at my desk.  STOP IT.  I will probably get in trouble for being on the website during the day, but my boss expects me to have 12 months of bank reconciliations done by Thursday at 4:00.  I only have three months left and am not halfway through Tuesday.  This is a temporary job through the county here and I do not want ot work myself out of a job.  I am usually a go-getter, and will even create projects for myself, so this is a new avenue for me.

However, I am concerned as we have not heard from Gingersmommy and we need to know if we should send out a search party.

Jeri

Lady Kate's picture
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I just sent you a PM.. I think M. is at work today and unable to post on the Forum.. I did send her an E-mail.... hope all is well.. and it's like hair.. IT WILL GROW BACK.. either that or she now has a lovely red maple shrub...

gingersmommy's picture
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Hi everyone - I'm still here! 

Last night as I was packing my vodka in bubble wrap for the trip to Missouri, John arrived home.  He was in such a good mood!  Obviously, he didn't notice the tree (don't ask me how because a) it is extremely obvious [there is so much light there now that you need sunglasses!], and b) he parks under and facing it only about thirty feet away!

Everything is j..., you're right - email is the bomb for dropping the bomb, however, in this case, I was freaking out so bad yesterday, I didn't even want to do that. He'll notice it at some point and I'll say "oh that; I had that done about three weeks ago and you never even noticed!" Oh, god; no more big projects.  My fragile emotional state can't take it!  

talisin's picture
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Too funny, reminds me of the time I bought a huge tall item for the living room, small living room at the time and it was bigger than life really and my husband never saw the dang thing for - get this - 6 months!!!! One day he walked in and said "oh that's new where did you get that" I almost died laughing. So who knows maybe he won't notice till it's grown back enough to not be as scary as you think it is. :)) here's hoping.....

gingersmommy's picture
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talisin, I know!!! Sometimes my husband can be so clueless, it just boggles the mind!!!  In this case, it is working in my favor.   :)

talisin's picture
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hahahaha Grow tree - grow tree!!!! remember the program Laugh-In?? maybe not but they had this guy Henry I believe who used to always walk across the stage behind whomever was doing their skit on stage at the time, well he had a plant in a pot and each time he walked across the back of the stage the plant was a littler taller and a little taller until he could hardly carry it maybe your tree will just keep growing and doubling in size each day like that plant on Laugh In hahahahahaha maybe you could pipe in 60's music to it's roots hahahaha

gingersmommy's picture
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Ha, ha!  I do remember Laugh-In and the guy with the plant.  Remember the pervie guy who would ride the tricycle and fall over?  Geez, that was a long time ago!     

Lori's picture
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I had to laugh when you said he hadn't even noticed...The funny part is guys really don't pay that much attention to certain things and others boy do they ever.  I'm sure there are things I don't pay attention to either and it's funny because Tye calls me un-observant all the time...

 

he will come off the track and be like Yeah number 72 on the new blue Yamaha with red gear did such and such,  I'm like uh I think maybe it was a blue bike...not sure. 

 

But I could cut down every tree in the yard and he probably wouldn't notice.  Glad it all worked out.

gingersmommy's picture
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Lori, you're right, they actually can pay attention to the stuff that they want to.  John still hasn't noticed, so I'm not sweating it anymore.

Hickory67's picture
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Around here there is a scam going on where crew of migrant workers come in and repave your driveway while you're at work, then demand payment (some people actually do). Tell him a tree-trimming scam is going around and that the police came and arrested them and seized their equipment. Make sure to get your neighbors in on it to backstops your story.

talisin's picture
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Wow Hickory you are a sly one aren't you? hahahahah

Hickory67's picture
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Hehehehe...it's what I do...

talisin's picture
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hahahahaha, when I need help I will let you know...:))

gingersmommy's picture
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Okay, here's a true story.  I went to my sister's yesterday to help clip her Pomeranian, Sammy.  As I was walking up to her door, I thought "gee, something is different here..."  The approach seemed brighter, more open, and all the plants by the door that used to seem crowded were now out in the open.  Didn't give it a thought beyond that, though. 

As I was leaving to go home, my sister said "do you notice anything different?"  I'm like, "uh, no(?)."  She had had her huge magnolia tree by the door trimmed back a lot.  OMG, when she told me, I could believe that I hadn't noticed!  We both had a pretty good laugh over it (I had called her the day that I was freaking out so bad).

So, although John knows nothing about this, I have to go public and exonerate him from all the nasty things I had said about him being totally 'clueless'.  Turns out I am just as bad - I just hate it when that happens!  :)

talisin's picture
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hahahahahah, too funny - just the other day I mean around Monday night we were sitting on the porch and suddenly out of nowhere my husband says "where did THAT windchine come from?" hahahaha, I have a thing for windchimes and all the available hooks that were not removed from the haunted porch this past october I have now filled up with my old windchimes and new ones. I got a Ladybug windchime about 3-4 months ago it's small but has a great tone, I used my crutch to lift it up onto the hook so he didn't put it up there, but it hangs over the outside cats food bowl and I have seen him hit his head on it and figured he would fuss that it was too low, but never said anything, and then poof 3-4 months later he "sees" it he looked at me like I was lying!!!! He honestly thought I was trying to pull one over on him, it got so silly I told him he could call the woman whose store I bought it at, we are friends with her, it's so funny when he does this.

I hate it when he calls me out to the garage and says "so what do you think?" and I'm standing there having absolutely no idea what I am NOT seeing - he is so confident that I know his garage like he does, I used to but not now, such faith, finally I have to stand there and say "what am I supposed to be 'thinking' about ?" hahahahahaha

gingersmommy's picture
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talisin - cute!

Did you really have a haunted porch?  (I watch all the tv shoes about ghosts and paranormal activity.)  If so, do tell!

talisin's picture
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oh yes we have alot of things happening around here, we actually "put on" a haunted house/porch, it used to be a big event with over 15 actors/actresses and beautiful scenery (for halloween that is) and music, fog machines, special lighting and no blood it was just what you fear internally and we would have 250-300 people go through in one night and they would be lined up around the block it was so much fun. Some people drove from other states just to come to it. One man said his family was suffering financially and it was hard to do anything for halloween since costumes cost so much and the candy was expensive but he could always count on us to give his family a great treat with our haunted house event, he always had gas to get here, one year we didn't do the haunted house cause the kids had damaged one of our show cars by throwing a piece of asphalt and it cost $400 to repair so as "punishment" to the kids we didn't do it that year and I felt so bad cause this man drove a hundred miles to come up and we didn't have it, that hurt, but the kids never did anything like that again. Around June they start walking by the fence asking if we are going to do the haunted house.........we have gotten older and it is hard to pull the two real coffins we have out from under the house and carry them up the front and climb ladders and set things up like we used to.......so it gets scaled back each year, I think we have it down to a workable two man project now........and then there are the spirits in the house and garage that don't disappear when halloween is over........

gingersmommy's picture
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Cool!  We have a woman at work who is totally into Halloween.  They really do it big and prepare for many months to get ready for it.  Their big purchase a couple of years ago was a hearse.  !

Are you afraid of the spirits in your house?  I don't know if I could coexist with them!

Lady Kate's picture
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Ooooo

We lived with a delightful ghost by the name of Aunt Leone.. the house where we were; was over 100 years old, ( which sounds like an embryo to people in Europe and the East Coast.. but for Southern California.. it's ancient. )It was a sweet little Victorian cottage. with those old casement windows that rolled out, but it was really hard to roll them as they had been painted so many times. I would come home from work and the windows would be wide open.. happened time and time again.. come to find out.. Aunt Leone ( former owner of said home) had a stroke and died in that house and they  had to bust open the windows to get to her.. ever since then, she was sure there was a way out.. and here's the really cool part.. we had a carbon monoxide leak in the old old furnace and didn't detect it. Once the furnace was fixed, the windows stayed shut. Thanks Aunt Leone.

Marianne, so happy to hear John went oblivious to your tree plight,, and that's hilarious about you missing the shrunken magnolia

Tali.. I want to come to one of your parties...

talisin's picture
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I will find some pics to post of the haunted stuff. what we do is like those haunted houses you pay to walk through for a scare.

gingersmommy - naw we aren't afraid of them, I always go back to the thought that 'when was the last time there were any headlines about someone being harmed by a ghost?' It was funny we had a "ghostbuster buddy" and I mean he had all the equipment and everything, at 2am he set up in the living room aiming down the hall at my art studio, that's the area of most activity and he got some great pics. Nothing you could see with the naked eye but on film it looked like my art room was FULL of twinkling christmas lights all red/green/yellow/ sparkles and twinkles from ceiling to floor it was amazing!!! so we got excited and we were going to throw the pics up on the big screen and in his excitement he formatted the camera and lost it all!!! We did get some great orbs going all around and such. But those lights were wild. I have a legal pad that I started with all the happenings in the house and it is now 6 pages, front and back, long; my husband actually sees the girl of the house like a real human, I have "seen" the man in the garage but the girl stays hidden from me. I have lots of tales.......even my mom and a friend saw the girl of the house one night......the guy in the garage is helpful and boy do we have tales to tell on that one.......

gingersmommy's picture
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Eeeee, if I saw a "girl of the house" or any "spirit", I would FREAK OUT!  I mean it.  I love to watch ghost stories but I hope I never see a ghost or anything freaky deaky like windows I had shut being wide open when I come home, stuff being moved around, orbs on pictures, etc.  I mean, I hope these spirits are at peace but OMG, no, couldn't live with them. They would scare the s*#& out of me.   :)

Has anyone seen "I Survived...Beyond and Back"?  It's about people who are clinically dead and then come back.  Some of them who haven't led such great lives don't go to warm and fuzzy places - but they change once they come back.  I love that show.

talisin's picture
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I have seen that show, I don't watch it much since I have had so many near death experiences due to my own health issues that it brings back waaaaaay too many memories. I like the celebrity ghost stories on Biography.

One night when my husband and I were sitting on the bed eating dinner, yep our only TV was in the bedroom so we ate on the bed, we got finished and set our plates down and I had my fork flipped with the tines down on the plate and we had probably been sitting there for over an hour with nothing moving when all of a sudden that fork flipped up in the air and right side up, we both looked at each other and said at the same time "tell me you saw that" hahahahaha.....my husband hears this girl too, he will bring me something to drink and I will be sitting there with something already and when I ask why he brought me something else he says "you told me too". He has also stopped mowing the grass and come into the house to ask me what I wanted and I would say "nothing why" and he would tell me that I had been standing at the living room window staring at him for the whole time and he figured I wanted something, however the truth is that I would be in the laundry room or somewhere else in the house doing anything but standing watching him mow!!!

And the worst thing that ever happened was our whippet TJ had to be crated when we were out and about and his crate was one of those with the "pinch" locks where you pinch the two levers and the top and bottom of the posts would then poke through a hole in the top and bottom to secure it so there was NO way the dog could escape on his own, and we would come home several times and he would be loose in the house and get this - the door to the crate would be latched as if he never was in there!!!! AFter the third time of finding him like that I told that spirit "you mess with my dog one more time and I swear I will light the candle and send you to the light, and I know how!!!" so afterwards she wouldn't let him out but he would be in his crate in the dining room, a totally separate room, our house has individual rooms no open floor plan, and we would come home and he would be in his crate but not in the dining room - no he would be in the bedroom  or the hall....I finally told her you touch this dog one more time and you are outta here for good so you figure it out...... she left him alone.......

It's definitely interesting here......

cuddlbug00's picture
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LOL I dont know how I would react to a ghost in my house. I have always wanted to live in an old house, but my husband says they are too much work and upkeep. (what a turd, right?) It is neat to hear the stories though.

 

So has your husband still not noticed the tree?

gingersmommy's picture
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Nope, he still hasn't noticed (thank, God).  I'm loose as a goose and not sweating it anymore!  I am used to it now and actually prefer it.  The tree still looks nice and it lets so much more light in - it's all good!

cuddlbug00's picture
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I'm gonna call him and tell on you!

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