Letters to the Diva

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Lady Kate's picture
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Hello Dahlings.. I am here for any and all questions you might have

nose bobs and air kisses

Sofia

Thorspapa's picture
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HAHA great post :)...what about little flea bites....Thor layed down the other day by my feet then reached over and got just my leg hair with his lil front teeth.  He then gave them a lil love tug..yipes! but I couldnt help but laugh haha!

Lady Kate's picture
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Dear Thor~

Thank you for writing.. Many people go through all kinds of torturous rigors to rid themselves of unwanted body hair... Electrolysis, waxing, some people even  ( shudder) shave.

You've solved that problem for your papa.. and I think you are a genius

air kisses

Sofia

cisco9510's picture
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DeAR sOPhIE,

Hi Its Cisco! I just wanted to tell you that you are my idol and even though I am a boy I am aspiring to be just like you- My mommy gets so much joy from your stories!

 Sniffs, Nips, and Air Kisses (hey whatta ya want I am a boy!)

Lady Kate's picture
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My adorable little friend Cisco~~~

Thank you for your kind words..

I have every hope that you will become the front runner of Dragon Slayers.

Your personality and demeanor tells me so much.. No slipper or chair leg will ever harbor the evil ones.. Not a single hand knitted throw, a special fluffy bathrobe or a even a cardboard box will come close to threatening your loved ones, as you will banish all dragons lurking inside.

It is your royal duty and sworn responsibility and I know you will make your people proud

Scritches ( it's a word)

Sofia

nupe's picture
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Dear Sofia:

 

If you ever come to New York City...meet me at Central park at the dog park....I have a dog biscuit I like to share with you.

 

 

 

Buddy

Lady Kate's picture
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 Sounds simply fabulous my dear Buddy ~~~

Have your people call my people..

KevinK's picture
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Auntie Sofia,

I have taken much of your advice, but my human is starting to catch on.  I have him 90% trained, and have done everything you said.  I need to know how I can complete his training.  I usually only have to show him things a few times, and he gets it, but I really want to take his training to the next level, and need some ideas.  I really wanna impress my buddies next time we get together.

Dakota

Lady Kate's picture
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Dakota!!! Good Lord girl, where have you been?

Indeed.. it is time to step it up a notch..

Okay.. I'll make this quick as I know you'll catch on faster than I can have my person type this..

it's called the Eye Cut..

It's a no fail  devise guaranteed to work, but you have to promise on your Diva honor to only use it in dire emergencies i.e. the Kong thingie..

We've practiced crossing the paws and laying your head on them.. You've got that down pat and it usually works. Now without moving your head ( and the next part is very important) cut your eyes from Kevin to the Kong. Kong to Kevin.. Got it??.

Speak to him using nothing but your eyes. (Tails are not allowed to wag..)

... this is as serious as the laser stare you will use... Give it a try and let me know how you do.. Practice makes perfect

rgreen4's picture
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Dear Sopia, my human just really does not understand me. He brought me a new pad a few days ago and I just had to check it for the hated dragons. He did not understand that to check it for dragons I had to make holes in it and spread the fluff around the floor to expose the hated ones.

Uncle Red understands and has actually helped my search from time to time. But when my human gives me the stare, Uncle Red curls up on his pad and puts on his innocent act.

I am only trying to protect the house.

Love and Scritches,

Princess

Lady Kate's picture
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Dear Princess

First allow me a bow ( a play bow if you will) to HRH.. the most prominent princess of the pack.

Of course he does not understand you. How can he??? The fraility (  it's a word) of the human mind simply is not equipped to cope with our mentality. You are the only one who knows where those dragons are and try as you might, you cannot seem to get his attention.

You've tried almost everything you can think of; you've slept on his feet, chewed his computer wires, knocked the coffee cup out of his hand, curled up on his lap and launched your royal self off in the most dignified manor you can ..but to no avail.. Unfortunately, he's been around for a while.. he's had DoberDivas and Dragon Slayers going on thirty years and has seen it all..But he just thinks he's immune. 

It's time to haul out the big guns..

KISS

Kiss his nose, snuffle his hair, nibble his chin. Stuff that regal snout right into his ear and slurp your little heart out.. He will not be able to resist your charms..

And as for Uncle Red.. hmmph.. he's not sleeping.. he's just ignoring you.. That is not allowed..

Remember your name.

 

 

........That's all.

dobieluvr's picture
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Dear Auntie Sofia,
My human thinks I am doing things out of spite, such as running around in circles, digging, playing, chewing, and all sorts of other fun stuff, how do I make her understand that I do all of these so things for her benefit, after all, she does need her exercise!
Thanks,
Kratos

P.S. We should totally hang out some time!

Lady Kate's picture
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Sweet, wonderful, Krazy Kratos~

Your mamma knows we harbor no ill will toward anything.. It's just not in our make up. (Don't you get dizzy with the circle thingie?) I have it on the q.t. that some pretty intensive training is on the horizon for you my dear.. Things you haven't quite understood yet and the reasoning behind them will all become perfectly clear in a matter of time. I know you miss her when she's gone and I know the only way you get attention is by doing Krazy things.. enjoy it while you can. Chairs and table legs can be replaced, you cannot..

My heart is heavy in thinking about the frustration you must be going through. It's YOU that doesn't understand... ( I know... kinda harsh isn't it) You will ( and this is a promise) get much more enjoyment about pleasing her than making her nuts.. I know you'll get this soon.. we're all waiting for a good report.

Besides.. just think of the statement you'll make in training school.. I managed to have THREE trainers quit.. Let's see how YOU do!!

Dobermans Rule! Much love and many scritches

Auntie Sofia

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Dear Auntie Sofia,

I am six years old.  I want to be a Diva just like you!  Mommy says I am naughty sometimes.  I try not to be - I am just enthusiastic. Mommy still calls me a baby (!).  Will I ever be a Diva?  

Love,

Ginger

Lady Kate's picture
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Ginger Ginger Ginger

.. tsk tsk.. I have some serious concerns.. If I may be allowed to render some sisterly advice

DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE NAILS!!

Worst case scenario.. Schiaparelli Pink.. Prada Orange.. something.. anything. You are well on your way to becoming a first class Diva, but grooming is EVERYTHING ( next of course to accessories)

I've seen your wardrobe.. I know where you shop, all is good and designer collars are haute couture and always appreciated.. but oh my dear.. THOSE NAILS.

In the words of our esteemed Miranda Priestly:

"That's all"

Control_Freak's picture
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My Dearest Sofia,

I wanted to share this story with you because I know you will be so proud.  My mom had come from work and was very very tired.  You see I had to use the little girls room in the middle of the night, 3:45 to be exact and she had to be up at 4:30 to get ready for work.  I felt kinda bad about this but Mom should actually feel bad since she makes me take care of business in the snow!  When she got home she wanted to take a little nap but I wanted to play, so we compromised....she gave me a brand new bully to chew on while she napped on the couch.

Everything was going well until I heard them....those damn dragons!  Now let me explain I have known that they were invading the house for some time but I have never been able to find them.  But this time was different, my Mom was sleeping and I had to protect her from the evil things.  I was determined to find them.  So I searched and searched until I finally found them in one of my moms favorite shoes!  Now I know that shoes are off limits but I couldn't risk her getting hurt by one of these nasty little creatures.  So I went to work evicting them from my home.  When I was all finished I was really proud of my handy work, however, mom was not so happy.  She was pretty angry with me and asked me why I would do such a thing when I had so many other things to chew on.  I tried to explain to her that she was in danger of losing a toe from the evil little dragons but she didn't want to hear it.  Sometimes I think the humans will never understand........

Take a look at my handy work!

 

 

 


Lady Kate's picture
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Hello my dear Athena~~

What a fabulous job you did on those sparkly shoes.. and in time I'm sure your Mom will take in to consideration three things: Firstly ( it's a word) Her little tootsies will never be bitten by the evil ones you so thoughtfully evicted from her shoes.. Secondly: She now owns a pair of open toe sandals which are so hot on the Paris runways right now, And thirdly ( and the one that makes ME so proud of you) you are an incredible fashionista with the inate knowledge of fashion and design!! Give her time to appreciate your haute couture and taste, our people are not as forgiving as we are. and remind her that pumps are just so yesterday!!!

and BTW A goddess trumps a diva any time!!

Air kisses and nose bumps

Sofia

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Dear Sofia,   My parents just don't understand my facination with the Cat.  I'm determined to win her over and get her to like me but still after 9 months or trying, she jsut glares and me and growls when I tried to play with her.  Sometimes she runs under my feet and since I'm a little clumsy I step on her and boy does that make Mom mad.  She yells at me for it and for chasing the cat too.   I don't understand why the cat doesn't like me, everyone else does....

 

How can I get the cat to like me more?

 

Thanks Rocky,

Lady Kate's picture
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Dear Rocky~~ I looked at your gallery and saw the creature to which you are referring.. ( BTW nice legs you have big guy)

I'm not sure why you would want to,but there's only one way to win the affections of a   c-a-t   ( sorry but I cannot bear to speak the heinous word)

Ignore it..If you have to, look upon the creature with a loathing undisguised, do so with disdain and disgust ( lots of D words here Mom) just puff out that masculine chest, and pretend it doesn't exist.

Kitties cannot refuse that kind of ignoration (it's a word) I have to say you must be a truly magnanimous ruler to accept such insolence much less try to win it over.. I do admire you. But Rocky think about it.. It's a CAT! ( There I said it..now I'm going to wash my mouth out with a bottle of Evian water.

That's all

Happydance's picture
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Dear Auntie Sofia,

My mommy was very happy with me yesterday.  First she asked if I wanted to go for a ride.  Yes yes yes please Mommy!  Then she used a word I've heard before-"load up", I know to sit until she says it then I can climb into the big metal moving thing. I sat like such a good girl while it moved and swerved and stuff. Then we went to this place that we were at a few weeks ago, but this time I got to walk on my own instead of being carried.  Mommy told me that I had to get a rabies shot at the clinic, whatever that meant.

There was a bigger metal thing there that had little compartments on it that seemed to spit out little puppies into these 2 mens' arms.  The men had badges on them that said Animal Control and I heard Mommy tell a friend later that those were some "gorgerous" men. I saw that they were being really nice to the puppies.  When we walked past them I did my best friendly face and wiggled my nub as fast as I could.  One gave me a big smile and bent down and played with me. He seemed very pleased and told my mom that I was very pretty and sweet.  I was happy but I think my mommy was a little light headed!

I still don't understand why the little kitty in the plastic box got so cross with me tho.  I play nice with my kitty at home! :(

I just wrote because I was thinking that my Auntie Sofia would be proud of me for having such good taste! 

                                                                           Love, Fancy

P.S. I hope those puppies are feeling better after their operations and shots and get forever homes.

Lady Kate's picture
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Dear Fancy~ After looking at your photo gallery, I just have to say, your Mommy named you well. I think you will grow up to be a great beauty. (I have strong instincts about things like this)

You are quickly learning the way to a gorgeous man's heart.

It's all in the nub. Oh, they are used to winsome lasses with their big brown eyes mooning at them all the time.. what they truly cannot resist is the nub. There's something about that hummingbird action that just takes their collective breaths away. 

As far as getting along with the ((gulp)) "kitty at home". I really don't understand. I've been sworn enemies and adversaries for years.. you might have to give ME a tip or two on not only how you do it... but why??

Hope you feel all right after your Rabies shot. I think you're very brave and yes, you're right: The Diva is pleased. 

P.S. Can you tell me more about the gorgeous men?

Happydance's picture
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Dear Aunt Sofia,

I feel fine thank you very much.  So fine in fact that I think I've worn my mommy out already today.  I didn't much like it when they stuck me but I forgot about it right away when I calmly walked onto the scale thingy.  It said 39.8.  Mommy thinks that's good @ 17 weeks.

Mommy said she would post new pictures soon.  Just as soon as she cleans up the mess I keep making.  Boy do I ever have a lot of toys!! 

I have my very own kitty.  I claimed her when I first got here as a small pup.  She likes to sleep on one of the chairs on the porch and doesn't move when I jump up to see her and kiss her all over (ACCKKK, fur balls).  She doesn't run from me so I haven't gotten into the habit of chasing her.  In fact, we were playing tag all around the pool in the back yard the other day.  We took turns being in front, but we never broke out of a lope into a full out run.  It was great fun.

There is another kitty here that sleeps in another chair and she's sure not very nice to me.  She swats me and hisses at me and never ever lets me kiss her.  I sit down and look at her and get very sad and wonder why she doesn't like me. (I think I might chase her someday just 'cause.) I think she took lessons from Mom's 21 year old cockatiel.  He doesn't like me much either.  He'll fly down in front of me and my friend Buster, raise up his wings and hiss.  Boy oh boy do we know not to mess with him!  Mom says that he's trained lots of dogs and cats, and for some reason they've all listened to him. It makes Mommy laugh.                                  Fancy

P. S.  The gorgeous men were bookends, coulda been brothers.  They sure looked handsome in their uniforms with puppies in their arms.  Mommy knows it's a good thing for me to get to know these men they call "dog catchers" if I should ever get lost.  Hmmm, I'd sure run to him.  LOL

Lady Kate's picture
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 Fancy Dear~~

You have your own c-a-t???

Aaacckk!

Have you taught it to bring you bottled water? Does it know that you like your own special feeding dish? Will it scritch you behind your ears? How well are you training this this.. OMG I can barely stand to say it...... cat?

Fur balls indeed..

and a BIRD? Fancy.. I'm getting worried.. It might be a dragon not a bird.

You must learn how to jump up high enough to grab him and shake his tail feathers so he'll leave you and Buster alone.

Stay friendly with the bookends. You never know when one of them might come in....um... handy

......that's all

Oops P.S. Almost forgot to tell you. Not quite 40 pounds is perfect!! Now you'll be ready for your close up.. cant' wait to see it.

rhondab's picture
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Dear Aunt Sofia,

As you now I went in to the doctor the other day, you know just a little bit of cosmetic surgery. You will not believe the wonderful accessories I walked away with. A really nice necklace.. Royal Blue I must ad, I would have prefered pink but had to settle on Blue. I do believe it brings out my eyes. I also have a stunning hat on my head, thats what moms says. I think I carry it well. I am just wondering how long do you think the fashion statement will be in season? You are after all the Top Diva who knows style. I plan to wear the necklace for the next week or so. Mom says we could always try a new style if this one does not work.. so Far I like this one, I have noticed others have not been able to pick up this style. I don't think their stylist have found any.. I do believe it's still being presented on the RunWay in Paris  - Mom says I was blessed to be able to get my little paws on it!

Do you think I should also place a Tierra ( aka cup -hate using that word)  on my head? Just for extra protection.. Right now I am having no issues with the latest greatest oversized necklace and cap.. I can't reach my ears, but thats what the surgery was about shhh.. don't tell others - I want them to think they are all natural once healed.

Okay, kisses & nose bumps.

Diva in training...

Bella 

Lady Kate's picture
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Ciao Bella~~

I had posted my response about your um.. cosmetic surgery on another thread.. it probably got buried.. just like the bones we love to hide. ( look under "Will this be a set back for my puppy?")for the entire missive.

Blue is definitely your color.. Royal blue to be precise.. and you're right, it does bring out your eyes. They are bright shiny and happy just like you

...You are such a fashionista, no one but you could carry that off and with so much aplomb. I have a hunch it will be the cutting edge in new collars and you my dear Bella are a style setter for sure.

Tiaras: Always good; ( but only after five) especially with sweaters and jackets. (I have a lovely royal purple cape I like to wear when the weather gets cold.. I do not, however do wet.)

As far as how long it will be in style.. that's hard to say.. Fashions come and go.. I am thinking perhaps two weeks and you'll tire of it.. I'm not sure if anti itch cream will help, as I know your divine new ears are curiously itchy.. benedryl? Ask your surgeon.. but above all.. do not scratch..

Do everything your Mom asks.. She knows best and make sure and keep us posted.. Ha.. a little pun there!

Very gentle nose bumps and much love

Auntie Soph

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Re: Uncle Buddy....

I know I am young Sofia but I am truly head over heels for you and seeing you flirt with uncle buddy has broken my 15 week old heart... ask mommy! she was showing my daddy pictures and reading from this box on her lap and said ohoh looks like uncle buddy is stealin ciscos girlfriend... she has shown me pix of girls closer to my age like the pretty bella and fancy et all... but i love you... i will be happy if you become my aunt and uncle buddy is my idol but i doooooo wuf you very much.

cisco9510's picture
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Re: Uncle Buddy....

I know I am young Sofia but I am truly head over heels for you and seeing you flirt with uncle buddy has broken my 15 week old heart... ask mommy! she was showing my daddy pictures and reading from this box on her lap and said ohoh looks like uncle buddy is stealin ciscos girlfriend... she has shown me pix of girls closer to my age like the pretty bella and fancy et all... but i love you... i will be happy if you become my aunt and uncle buddy is my idol but i doooooo wuf you very much.

Lady Kate's picture
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Cisco~~Mein liebchen !!

I was hoping to hear from you  ( you know how I feel about red heads!!)

Sure, you're just a KID now.. but those dance moves your showin' really rock. I think you might be able to show me a step or two.

Divas have great huge hearts and more than enough love to share. We are hopeless romantics and figure that buddies are really cool.. but there's nothing like a "Kid"!!

Tell you what... As soon as your turban comes off, we'll talk.  

Love you too

Auntie Sofia

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Dear Sofia,

I read all of these wonderful posts about jewelry and collars and tiaras! And somehow I get made fun of every time I wear my fleece hoodie out. I mean can't I be festive during the holidays? All the Pomchi's and dogs the size of my kong get to wear cool stuff. Oh and people chuckle and smile when they see what my mom got me last week. I love it.

Licks to death,

Laith

cisco9510's picture
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Laith I want that hat!!! its awesome!!!! Have your people tell my people where they got it for you!

Lori's picture
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That is Very cute!  those little balls would like abuot 8 seconds each with Rocky though hahah

Lady Kate's picture
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Dear Laith

Fashion is as fashion does.

Picture the runway in Milan and strut your great stuff... Never let anyone dictate to you what you should or shouldn't wear.. ( except of course fanny packs.. they are so 1990!! ) Be proud of the fact that you are a Doberman and can do and wear anything you dang well please.. Sorry to sound so peeved..... I am.. it's raining.. my hair is frizzing and I HATE to get my feet wet.

Dad is sick and off his feet for two more weeks, I don't have anyone to run with.

that's all

laith's picture
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I agree! Thanks for the support. Hope the weather gets a little better. Here it was 70 out today. 

And Cisco- My people got my winter hat at Target for $4.00. (They have the best stuff to fit Doberman puppies). 

:)

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Awesome I will tell my people!

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Dear Sofia,

Mommy hasn't been on here in awhile but she has been taking really good care of me. She even teaches me new things..And when the weather isn't freezing cold I get to go play at the park. I am still a puppy and mommy gets aggravated with me sometimes but I watch over her when she sleeps.I curl up beside her and lay my head on her legs to make sure no one bothers her cause she works nights and sleeps during the day. I do aggravate her and wake her up allot but it's just to make sure she's still breathing. One of these days I hope to be a diva like you. Mommy says I still have alot to learn but I learn quick so maybe she will stop making me do the same things over and over. Who knows maybe one day I can be just as relaxed and laid back as you then mommy won't get so mad at me. Anyway Happy Holidays and I will be back soon.

Pandora

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Dear Pandora...

thank you for writing and thank you for aspiring to be the best you can be. It takes time.. patience and lots of love to train your human. Keep snuzzling ( it's a word) and keep her warm.. she will thank you for it soon. believe me

 

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Dear Sofia,

I write this for your gentleman caller Gentle Ben, he was so taken with you if you remember, just wanted to let you know he would be so proud to know that you have taken your talents and begun to share your knowledge worldwide.

As his mom I send you great big rottie hugs from the Benjaman, Honorary Doberman.....

Talisin