SearchThe Diva Comes to Call
All day Mom kept telling me that “we were going to have so much fun. There were two dogs that were anxious to meet me and I had to be on my best behavior”.
Well I usually am on my ‘best behavior’, why would this be any different?
I had my bath, using my lovely oatmeal based shampoo with vanilla overtones, my nails were dremmeled to an appropriate length, Mom put Clinique on my nose, sprayed some moisturizer on my gleaming coat, put my beautiful royal purple collar on and off we went to meet Bob and Lucky. Yawn.. such names for dogs. I have a good friend named Steve and he has a brother named Harry, so it might be okay.. But LUCKY?? Who names their dog Lucky??
Upon arriving at the house, two very odd looking creatures met me at the door.. Their tails were wagging and everything appeared to be okay until I got a really good look.. Lucky wasn’t all that lucky… not with her shaggy white coat, weird looking ears and this tail that allowed fur to fly in every direction when she waved it in my face. I’m not even sure what kind of dog she was, so I’ll just call her a labra-dog. She sniffed at me and approved of my smell, however, I cannot say the same for her.. Obviously they’re using the wrong products, otherwise why would she be so itchy? She made me sneeze.
Bob was a Basset Hound, with sad rheumy eyes, ears that drooped to the floor and OMG he drooled.. When he shook his head, wet slimy strings came out of his mouth and one landed on my Oatmeal based shampoo-ed coat..
“Mom, Mom.. get if off me.. eeeeueeww… get if off me NOW.!! I leaned as hard as I could against my her and she had the audacity to laugh as she took a Brawny paper towel and dabbed at the wetness that was now permeating my flesh.
I looked at her with the same longing I use to weasel a crust of pizza from her.. I begged her with my eyes to please take me home.. I curled up like a cocktail shrimp and tried to ignore the two creatures, but to no avail… they wanted to play. PLAY?? How can I play when their noses are stuck in parts of me that are considered private?
Finally the meet and greet was over, I was allowed back in my own house on my own sofa (the one Mom thinks is hers) and tried to forget the trauma. Remind me to bring bath towels with me if I ever have to visit another Basset Hound.
Haha love it!! Thanks Dova for thinking fondly of Steve and Harry..
Oh Sophia, bless your heart having to go through so much...and in one day!! You even got doodied up for them too. My fav part is the cocktail shirmp!!!! xoxo, Sophie
Oh I could just see the Diva in a royal snit over all the dog slobber going on!
Oh I could just see the Diva in a royal snit over all the dog slobber going on!
Katie, I was reading another post and just realized that I have been spelling Sofia's name WRONG!! Apologies to The Diva, what she must think of me!!! xoxo Soph & Ang
No problem Angie.. I didn't tell her.
I absolutely L
VE that photo of Miss Diva Sofia.
Oh Paul.. I can't tell you how upset she was at Basset goobers.. she would arch her neck and turn around attempting to see the offensive spot.. ( the size of a dime for God's sake!)
As Lucky would wave her tail, she would actually DUCK to escape the flying hairs that came off. ( I have to admit, Lucky did shed a lot)
Sofia is generally very gracious to other dogs, has even been known to play on occasion,... but wanted no part of these two.. Might have been because she was in their house.. there were two of them?? I dunno.. but she had never looked so absolutely miserable in her life..( maybe they were saying unkind things behind her back)
Awwwwww... Poor Sofia... You can come over to my house and play... I wont slobber... I'll lock the cat in another room... and we can play with my buddy Paco... he doesn't slobber and is very considerate about a Diva's "private places" (he wont stick his nose where it doesn't belong).
~Skye~
Dear Skye.. what a sweet friend I have in you. Thank you.. I mean.. it was truly horrid.. great bits of hair floated about and got stuck in my nose. Bob's ears dragged on the floor and picked up all kinds of nasty things. His eyes were red rimmed and his tail made thumpy noises on the floor. what do you suppose they do with those tails anyway?? WAIT>>>>> I see YOU have one. oh quick Skye.. tell me what you're supposed to do with it?? How can you sit? Doesn't it get in the way when you run? Do you make thumpy noises with it? Maybe it isn't all that bad. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Oh now great! I'm getting confused.. must be my thyroid.
You're suposed to wiggle them... they are great for blaming when you toot ... they dont get in the way when you sit or run... and I only make thumpy noises with it when I get my ears or butt scritched. Don't worry Sofie, I don't have ears that touch the floor and pick up yuckies either.
Fantastic thread! Great story.
Love it!! If it's not too much trouble for you Sofia...perhaps we can see a photo of you in your beautiful royal purple collar... I don't think my imagination can do it justice! LOL
Hello Beck.. Seems I'm developing quite a crush on you.. You might be a little young.. and I just might be considered a cougar.. but you are so very handsome and I think I like you quite a lot
Here I am in my collar as requested ( I usually play... ummmmm naked).
Nose bumps and stay warm.. the snow looks horrid to me..
Sofia
*insert some soft Barry White crooning in the background*
Sweet, sweet Sofia, (rumble, rumble).... my eyes are drinking in the beauty of you in purple.
With your naughty innuendos you have captured my heart...and my dog parts. Age means naught to me; a cougar? No, you are but a royal temptress that lights my heart like a beacon in the night. Please, I could only dream that while you gaze into the distance with those beautiful, come hither eyes, that you might spare a thought for me, struggling in this white misery, and thus I may plow on. Yours in heart, Beck.
Great story! You are such a good writer.
Oh Sir Beckham~~~
You Make Me Feel So young!!! ( *insert a little Frank Sinatra here)
There's room for you here...
You two are a crack up!! It's so wonderful to witness new love....
Dear Sofia, your teasing is tormenting me. Would I, could I, but dream of barging my lanky, but oh so eager, body upon your couch. I am going to tack this picture up in my crate and let it light up my dreams. Ever yours, if you'll have me, Beck.
I'll be watching you
Sofia, you should totally go for it. Younger men will ROCK your world!
What he lacks in experience; he'll make up for in ardour ~ bow chicka bow wow 
Oh my god! You guys are too much! I'm literally laughing out loud!
Go Sophia!
Dearest Beck ( If I shall be so bold to call you "Beck") as I'm feeling a little shy right now..
Thank you for the kind words and the wonderful music ( How did you know I aDORE Barry White??)
I can't stand to think of you in all that horrid white stuff// Doesn't that snow stick your your paws? Ick! And I can only imagine the puddles you must leave in your Mom's house. NOT allowed Beck.. you must maintain decorum at all times.
I've made room on my very own love seat and am willing to share my warm ( hand crocheted) throw along with 'Hedgehog' whom I've had since I was a girl..
Just think about it...
sighs..
Sofia
Sofia, I'm scared. Today is the first time I'm being left along for more than 2 hours by myself. My people are going to the next town. What if they don't come back?! What if I'm left all alone forever?! I'm panicking.....! The kennel walls are closing in.....
Ahhh my dear one.. I know it can be a little scary thinking they might not come back.. it's something we all go through from time to time..But they will return!! Just remember, as much as you love them, they love you more..
I find when I have some alone time, I catch up on my beauty sleep;decide if there are any dragons lurking about that I might need to investigate and slay. Sleep, and dream of YOU.. haHAH there ya go.
Words of wisdom from
La Diva
Hey Beck.. Look what I have.. come help me catch him..
S.
Who needs TV, we have our very own sitcom here - just brilliant ! 
Dear Sofia, I've been ...busy. The photo shows my shame *sob*
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Amazing,Sofia sure does tell a great story!Move over Garfield.....Here comes the Diva!